Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We praise
Allaah for having guided you both to the truth. This is the greatest
blessing that Allaah can bestow upon His slave, because it brings happiness
in this world and in the Hereafter. We ask Allaah to help you to do that
which He loves and which pleases Him, and to help you to remain steadfast in
following His religion.
Secondly:
You did well
by refusing to have an abortion, because abortion is a sin, whether it was
done before the soul is breathed into the foetus or afterwards, but the sin
is greater after the soul has been breathed into the foetus.
This has
been explained in the answers to questions no.
40269 and
42321.
Thirdly:
If a man
divorces his wife, and they have a child, then according to Islam the
mother’s right to custody of the child is greater than the father’s, so long
as there is no impediment such as her having remarried or being lacking in
religious commitment or failing to take proper care of the child.
This has
been discussed in the answers to questions no.
8189,
20705 and
21516.
Fourthly:
The father’s
bad conduct in demanding an abortion does not mean that his rights are
waived, such as the right to having the child attributed to him, care,
spending, naming, and visiting the child when he or she is in the mother’s
custody. He also has the right to custody if there is some impediment to the
mother taking custody, such as if she remarries.
We hope that
Allaah will forgive him as he has become Muslim, for Islam erases the sins
that come before it.
Fifthly:
The
questioner asks: “Does the father still have more rights than the mother”?
It should be
noted that the father’s rights are not always greater than the mother’s,
rather her rights take precedence with regard to custody, as stated above,
and her right also takes precedence over his with regard to good treatment.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A
man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, who among people is most
deserving of my good company?” He said: “Your mother.” He said, “Then who?’
He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?’ He said: “Then your
mother.” He said: “Then who?” He said: “Then your father.”
Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (5971) and Muslim (2548)
Al-Nawawi
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
This
indicates that we are urged to honour our relatives, and that the mother is
the most deserving of them, then after her comes the father, then the next
closest and the next closest. The scholars said: the reason why the mother
is given precedence is because of her great efforts for the sake of the
child, her kindness towards him and her service; she suffers hardship in
pregnancy, then she suffers hardship when giving birth to him, then she
breastfeeds him, then she raises him, serves him and takes care of him when
he is sick, and so on. Al-Haarith al-Muhaasibi narrated that the scholars
were unanimously agreed that the mother is to be given precedence in kind
treatment over the father. Al-Qaadi ‘Iyaad narrated that there was a
difference of opinion concerning that, but the majority said that she is
given precedence. Some of them said they should be honoured equally. He
said: some of them attributed this view to Maalik. But the correct view is
the first one, because this is clearly stated in these ahaadeeth. End
quote.
And Allaah
knows best.
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